abercr0mbiegirl's Friends

I worked out my calories so I could have a little Cinnamon Life cereal today.
I'm sure my stomach's like "What the hell is this; you haven't eaten breakfast in forever!"

I know, stomach, I know. I just hope you're not puffy for the concert today.

I'm talking to my stomach.
Damn.

Anyways, I will be carrying around my English book all day today. 44 pages to active read for TOMORROW and a 5:30 call time for a concert. And I gained yesterday even after restricting, FML.

good morning all you BEAUTIFUL girls.

yesterday was an success (under 3oo cals)
today's goal is under 500 cals, which is sooo easily do-able

STAY STRONG GIRLS!

Slightly not related.
Since most of it isn't related I'll put it behind a cut.

( text )

Anyway, what all that useless story leads up to is that I dont feel hungry at all. Or thirsty. And I just spend all my time sleeping.
But I hate missing school. Especially right before christmas break!

I feel awful. I'm going back to bed. I just wanted to make a little post about how my life is going.
I hope everyone is well<3

Well with cChristams break coming up my brother is coming home from school. :/ when he is home my family gets in a lot of arguments and it really intensifies my “problem behaviors”. he was here a couple of weeks ago to get dental work done and during those couple of days I almost broke my almost 2 month streak w/o cutting. He is going to be here for over a month! Maybe I am just being over dramatic. I don’t know.
On another note, I have been eating “pretty normally” for almost a week and I ended up gaining weight. I understand that this is not a bad thing since I am still underweight, but I feel like I am going against everything I have worked so hard for. I guess I still need to work on my mindset before I can ever hope to recover at all.
I hope everyone else is well.

Current Mood: confused

Yesterday was Day 1 of my fast. Finally ! It's about time I fast. I haven't been able to fast for the longest because of my stupid family. I was playing with my dinner (a salad) the whole time last night at the dinner table. Not one ounce of food passed these lips. Today is Day 2 . It's 6:27am , I have a long day ahead of me. I'll probably be back from school around 5. My mother told me I have to clean the bathroom when I get back ugh. But on the plus side, I can get out of dinner at that time.
And tomorrow I can definatley get out of dinner since I told my mom I'll be participating in a holiday food festival from 6pm-8pm at my school. I'm not going obviously though. I just don't know what to do in the meantime :/ maybe the gym?

So today and tomorrow are being taken care of. Thursday? I'm not so sure how I'll get out of it. I'm aiming for a 5 day fast.

It feels so much better to type out my plans on my here rather than having them all jumbled up in my head. I'm gonna try to post more often, i've been slacking on this community. School has kept me busy. I got my report card the other day and I got straight A's except for English >:o I got a B+

I need that report card to be perfect, just like my body.

crap just ate 3 quality street toffees :l

Slight delima; My boyfriend has requested I eat three times a day. But I don't want my progress to halt, I like the fact in a little over a month I was 53 inches now at 43. I like that. I don't want it to stop, I still hate who I am but it makes me feel better when I eat that little piece of bread here or there or the fact I haven't had sugar in 2 months or many carbs, or upsetting my family because I toss what they buy me to eat. I'll never recover.. I don't want to. I want to be the thin girl inside me not the ugly fat one on the outside. I don't want guys to make fat jokes anymore, I want people to stop and stare in good wonder not that "Omg...look how gross" wonder.
I love him but I need this too...I hope he will forgive me for not living up to one promise...

Current Mood: contemplative

I think I did bad slash maybe not today.

1/2 vegetable teriakie bowl from Rumbi grill
1 cup coffee
1 diet coke
.....1 cinnimon roll.....efffffffff
1 hot coco.

so Its not toooooo bad, but maybe it is. opinions? wow lame of me to ask. anyways. I didnt get to the gym today :( judge me for this but its finals week so I think it is a little bit more important to focus all my effort on studying and doing well on the tests and not freak out if I miss a workout. I do freakout tho. I think about how i didnt go to the gym today allllll freakin day. That should be motivation enough. like if I dont go to the gym one day I literally think about it so much and its annoying.
had a lunch date with this guy. He was such a gent. I want to date him for reals. I think he is like 25 so a little old for me but he was so great i dont mind. I found out he was married once. that was weird!

UGH
Yep.... here we go again.... The cycle continues. I'm writing this right now to refrain from purging. I just binged on a whole container of left over spaghetti. I feel so heavy. I can't do this anymore. I ran out of cigarettes today as well..... Don't get paid until tomorrow. WTF is wrong with me?
I just...
cant.......

BREATHE.

Current Mood: full

anyone willing?
Is anyone willing to give me n honest opinion on my pics? Itd only take a minute and i can give you a link to my myspace to view them. Id so appreciate it. Id also like to answer a question i was asked in a previous entry as to how i found residential IP. It is mental and emotional torture. Being tubed is harsh psychological pain. Especially when your eating disorder has been your crutch for years. The only reason i could afford it was because of my parents. Ive been thinking about going residential facility for the 3rd time but i can no longer afford it even with my parents help. Id be happy to answer any other questions. also reached a NEW NUMBER! 93.7 LBS today. STILL look and feel disgusting. Hows everyone? xx Liv

Current Mood: cold

Hello lovelies! Today has been a great day. I haven't wanted to binge at all. I almost always do at night and it sucks but today nope. Only 407 calories, and 130 burned. I know that's not many burned, but hey, at least I stayed under 500. One thing I'm starting to find that's kind of gross but stops me from binging is the chew and spit. It's absolutely disgusting, but I don't eat so it keeps calories down.
Anyway, I hope tomorrow goes okay too. I'm at 127 right now, but that was this morning. I have a really high metabolism so I can't wait to see what the scale says tomorrow. I think I'm going to go to bed now, hope everyone else is doing great.

Current Mood: accomplished

sooo TIRED!

Well my fast is in thirty-one minutes. It starts at Midnight. I am tired so i'm going to sleep now. If anyone wants to join me or be buddies:

Aim: thinprettyplease
Yahoo: ranarin77

good luck ladies and good night.

07
Todays intake: 610.
Not horrible, but, obviously not the best. Because I keep telling myself that I am going to fast, But it never works out. Slowly though, everyday, I find myself less and less hungry the less I eat.

So my plan for tomorrow:
Do not eat before/at work.
Walk home from work (1 hr - 1 1/2 hrs)
Finish the last of my 0 cal salad.

From there I am going to watch Paper Heart. Holy cow. Michael Cera is amazing. I am so excited for it. Anywho that's basically the extent of what I have to say tonight.

my AIM: airyckahh.
Add me :)

xoxo,
Airyckah

I would like a partner in crime on this. I would like someone who could help me and I'll help them. Someone I can rely on and they can rely on me. And we can be happy everyday when we see the number on the scale drop.

I have unlimited minutes/texts (i'm in the US)
And I have AIM and MSN

Message me if you need a buddy like this

Hey! So this weekend was craaaazy. We celebrated my BF's bday and our 3 year anniversary. ATEATEATE. grrrrrr. I had to eat to make him happy. But that's done now. I'm not eating to make people happy anymore. If i keep doing that I'll never get thin. So I'm going to have a 500 limit everyday of the week. I will allow "free" calories for the calories in hard alcohol, but no mixed drink (unless it's like a rum and diet coke). I am done trying to please people. And I'm not even skinny yet.

I will get skinny again. It WILL happen

pictures
These are pictures of me at my biggest and lowest weights... I feel ashamed just posting the second one...I just want you guys to see how desperatly I need to lose weight.
( me, NSFW, slight SI )( Read more... )

in the 1st pic I'm the one in the middle with a purple bandana

back, again.
well, back again.
I really need someone to start dieting with. I can't seem to do this on my own, not even thinspo can convince me not to eat. It's so sad that we all feel like such failures isn't it?
tomorrow I start off with 200 cals tops. After that things get cut down again.
Assuming that I will lose weight at the same rate as I usually do, I should go from 143 to atleast 137-140 by friday.
I just cut my hair short too, so if I get fatter my face will look so horrible. This thought terrifies me.

CW: 143
HW: 168
LW: 120
GW1: 140
GW2: 135
GW3: 133
GW4: 130
GW5: 127
FWG (for now): 125

pics of me??( NSFW )me in winter 2007

Current Mood: high

sorry .. another post.
so i just ate like, 850 cals to get my metab up again. i couldn't stand it and purged what i could, which wasn't near all of it. i still feel full and bloated and gross. ughh. but i couldn't get it up, i didn't drink enough water. i was too busy stuffing my fat fucking face. i'm praying it was for the best, to eat something. fast tomorrow. weigh in when i get home from bowling. i'll die if i gained. :// anyways, just took some new sleeping pills. already sort of sleepy, cool.(: night luvvies.

This is my first post, I've gone through this before. Last year I was at my goal wieght, but I was forced into recovery...I can't take it anymore, I miss it all sooooo much! I can barely live with it anymore! So that is why I've joined this! I think it would be fun to know other are going through the same thing:)

Today is the first of many happier days:)

Hope everyones good<3

goodnight.
95 calories for today,
i'm tired and about to go to bed.
i love sleeping, cause i don't have to worry about how i look or how i feel or anything. :/
i need to get down 2 pounds fast.
hopefully get to weight myself tomorrow.
staystrongstaythin, goodnight everyone.

Current Mood: tired

~~i don't post in this community~~ (let alone in my own journal) much mainly because my life simply wasn't worth writing about... until now (kinda).

i turned down a double date with my bff, her guy, and one of the guys i like so i could go for a swim. there is always another Monday and another double date, so i'm happy that the old me (i.e. the girl who doesn't let fun interrupt her work-out regime) is back. i didn't even pig out when i go back (i had a cup of ~~soup~~), which is hard to do because i'm always starrrving after i go swimming.

[aside: i dogded a dinner date, which is a good way to kick off the work-week.]

i have a date with m.a., aka the sexiest boy (if you like that whole gino look, lol), on Wednesday so i better go prep my fake nails. any thoughts on what colour to paint them? what's trendy for winter 09?

on a random note, my Jersey Shore nickname is The Rack, ha.

Anybody out there??

So... I read somewhere on the internet that 10% of female teenagers have an eating disorder, but I look around in the classroom, or at the movies, and I never seem to spot anyone that looks anorexic. I never see anybody at lunch doing anything that strikes me as eating disorder behavior. It always seems to be just me skipping lunch no other girls. Or sometimes when I'm having a bad day and I binged at school and I go to the restroom to see if maybe I can purge some of it, there's no other girls in there doing what I am. I know I'm not the only one in this town with a eating issues, but where are all the other girls?

Current Mood: complacent
Current Music: Pack Ur Bowls - Kottonmouth Kings

i post a lot .... sorry if you all want to punch me lol
anyways, today was good. its about 10:00pm right now and i got back from work and all i had was a gatorade today and diet. dr. pepper. I didnt go to the gym...i dont when i fast. its just a thing. lol
so i guess i can say ..
day 1-fast (COMPLETE)
tomorrow im gonna fast again.
i want to do 72 or 96 hours but idk yet.
i just need to lose at least 4 lbs by friday after this fastttttt.
tomorrow though im gonna work out. i think lol

you know what i hate? how when i fast i like physically cant suck in my stomach; like it hurts..like its so empty i cant. ugh its annoyingggg

lol love youss

How are you girls doing today? I hope you are well. ^_^

#1 of Fast

Only consumed 400 calorie but had to work an extra 2-4 hours. So I guess it will suffice. No where near as bad as... 800 unnecessary calories like yesterday. Currently I'm sipping a liter of water, I'll put some crystal light in it.. I hate water >_O.

Annnnnnnnyway..

Fight with Boyfriend is over so I'm not binging in rage no long-a! But there is still...tension... Ah well.

What I ate was........

Microwave Sandwich: 400 cal

Not too bad.
I ate this... 4 hrs ago so I'm running on empty. I will lose weight. I know I can.

xoxo Love you girls!

Current Mood: bouncy

day one- success
first day of liquid fasting went well! its about time i have a good day....i feel so relaxed. i always stress sooo much when i eat more than im supposed to. how are you girls doing?!

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